Survey figures quoted by Jean Hailes for Women's Health suggest plenty of Australian dads are still learning: more than half of dads in Australia don't know about the hormones related to the menstrual cycle, and 60% aren't sure when they should take their child to the doctor for a period-related concern. Both appear in Jean Hailes' top 5 tips for dads on talking periods.
Not all dads are scared of period talk, and those knowledge gaps are easy to close. This guide covers when to start, what to say, how to avoid adding to the shame and when a doctor should take a look.
Quick answer: Not all dads are scared of period talk, and any dad can get good at it. Learn the basics, use the correct words, join in everyday conversations and skip the jokes about moods. Healthdirect suggests talking before a first period, which usually arrives around 2 to 3 years after breast development starts.
How can dads get comfortable with period talk?
Start with Jean Hailes' five tips:
- Learn the basics. Know how pads, tampons, menstrual cups and period underwear work, and have some on hand, just in case.
- Use the correct words. Nicknames are fine as long as your child also knows the correct names.
- Be part of conversations. Buy period products together at the supermarket for someone in the household, or watch an age-appropriate video about periods together, which may be especially useful if you are a single parent or co-parent across households.
- Don't make jokes about it. Comments about mood swings or "crazy" hormones can feed shame and stigma.
- Remember you're modelling behaviour. Boys who grow up with periods discussed respectfully are more likely to do the same.
When should I start talking to my child about periods?
Before the first period, and ideally before puberty begins. The healthdirect guide to puberty for girls says puberty usually begins between 8 and 13, and encourages parents to find an opportunity to talk about what to expect before the first period. Jean Hailes notes that periods can start as young as 8, and questions can come up even earlier. The Better Health Channel agrees that the best time to talk about puberty is before it begins.
What should we talk about?
Cover the practical and the emotional. Healthdirect suggests explaining what a period is, the physical and emotional changes your child may notice, and how to manage a period and track the cycle with a calendar or app. The Better Health Channel adds talking about cramps and mood changes, ways to ease pain such as a hot water bottle, and how to use period products hygienically. For a step-by-step picture, our article on what to expect when you get your first period is a good one to read together.
What if my child would rather talk to someone else?
That is fine, and it doesn't mean you have failed. Healthdirect notes that a doctor, school counsellor or another family member your child feels comfortable with can also help. Jean Hailes stresses that children should know they can come to you if something goes wrong or if they have questions, and the Better Health Channel reminds parents to respect a child's need for privacy, starting with knocking before entering their room.
When to see a doctor
Healthdirect advises speaking with a doctor if:
- your child hasn't started puberty by 13, or hasn't had a first period by 15;
- puberty seems to be starting early, before 8;
- period pain stops them going to school;
- period pain is new, gets worse during the period or lasts longer than it used to;
- there is pain or bleeding between periods.
Frequently asked questions
Is it okay to use nicknames for body parts?
Yes, as long as your child also learns the correct names. Jean Hailes says nicknames are fine on that condition, and the Better Health Channel recommends using the correct terms for body parts so children learn the right words. Jean Hailes explains that using the correct words at home creates consistency for your child.
Why shouldn't dads joke about mood swings?
Because jokes and comments about mood swings or "crazy" hormones can feed into feelings of shame and stigma, according to Jean Hailes. Jean Hailes adds that treating periods as normal and natural, rather than embarrassing or dirty, can help children feel less shame.
How regular will my child's periods be at first?
Not very, and that is expected. Healthdirect says irregular periods are normal in the first 3 years after a first period. Healthdirect also suggests tracking the cycle with a calendar or app, and lists period pain that stops your child going to school as a reason to see a doctor.
Learning the product options is one of Jean Hailes' first tips for dads. The Lunette period cup comes in a softer Size 1 that Lunette recommends for teens, holding 25 ml, more than 2 to 3 tampons' worth of fluid. Our period cup size guide compares both sizes, so you can look through it together before choosing a menstrual cup.
Treat this as general information rather than medical advice, and talk to your family GP about your own child's health.
